top of page
feet111crop.jpg

From the Author

I really believe that the I Got Stinky Feet series is one of the funniest things you will ever read. It's fantasy and fiction, and all fun. It takes its name from the epic poem, I Got Stinky Feet. It's about two goofballs on a cross-country motorcycle trip and all the crazies and nuts they meet. They come across a car-trunk brain surgeon; self-absorbed, college-educated creative writers who are truly awful; crazy, but wise, old guys; a bus driver straight from Hell; and a bunch other crazies and oddballs. It asks some burning questions about life, like why do some people not wear underwear, why do goofs smile and why do many people choose to sit in their own stink, meaning why do they sit in johns for long periods of time when taking craps? 

One of the greatest adventures is when we come across a deranged grave robber (that's the book's cover) who's looking for some valuable stuff in his brother's grave. 

I'll post some reviews below, part, or maybe all of the I Got Stinky Feet poem, excerpts and some of Dan Florentino's amazing and wonderfully funny drawings.

I hope you'll buy it. I know you'll enjoy it.

Thanks,

Dennis Domrzalski

Reviews

--"I laughed so hard I choked. This book is killing me! The funniest book I've ever read!"--Mike Gallegos

--"Deadly funny! It takes a bold reader to tackle this story, but it's so worth it. Dennis Domrzalski made me laugh out loud with this amazing tale of two men who launch themselves on an adventure-seeking trip from Chicago. The tone is set with the decision to head out on motorcycles in the dead of winter. These men are BOLD--their goal of saving the wicked from the pious is a challenge of the highest order. But this is not just a very funny book--yes, I would agree wholeheartedly that if you liked Raising Arizona this book is for you--but it is larded with many deadly truths. And our protagonists repeatedly savage the corrupted bureaucrats, judges, cops and other authority figures with razor-sharp dialogue. And only someone who once lived in Chicago could come up with a bus driver who refuses to pick up passengers because, among other reasons, it slows him down and he can't keep his schedule. This book should be on tape--but only if the author is the reader. Then, it would be 10 times as good."--Maurice Possley

--'The sort of book that Mark Twain would have written if he had had a motorcycle. This book is a sustained and hilarious assault on everything that is cheesy, cheap, fake, phony, pretentious and politically correct in the US. Read this book and you will never look at life in the same way again."--Mark Sienkiewicz

--"A savagely hilarious road trip. This is a funny and hilarious story with great characters, a funny story and a subtle iconoclastic bent that skewers and asks questions as it follows our heroes. This book is a grand yarn and is hard to put down. It would make a great cult film but don't wait for the film to come out-read it now."--Dan Noyes

 

--"Gut-busting, hilarious, a breezy read, no-holds-barred story telling. Just about everyone you can think of gets reamed in these pages. A wild ride from start to finish."--Weekly Alibi

 

--"Without question this book is one of the most imaginative and hilarious books I have ever had the privilege to read. This book is a must read."--Eileen

I Got Stinky Feet

The poem

I don't know much 'rithmetic.

I can't spell retreet.

I can't fly a fighter plane,

But I Got Stinky Feet.

I ain't never robbed a bank.

My gal I've never beat.

I ain't never kicked a dog,

But I got stinky feet.

My feet stink worse than laziness

And worthless dumb-cluck slobs,

Who say they really want to work

Then only take six jobs.

My feet stink worse than Christmastime 

And smiling kids with toys,

And happy fatso Santa Claus,

Good cheer, peace love and joys.

My feet stink worse than slobs who fart 

On buses and subways,

And then pretend that they don't stink

And fart, fart, fart away.

My feet stink worse than old people

Who always walk so slow,

And block my way and make me late

For everywhere I go.

My feet stink worse than lawyers' jokes,

And goofs who laugh at them;

They stink much than month-old sweat

And used car salesmen.

My feet stink worse than liquor stores

That don't stay open late,

And stupid, holy Christian goofs

Who say it's wrong to hate.

Pigs who don't flush toilets

And don't change underwear,

Slobs who sneeze into their hands 

then wipe them in their hair.

Scum who never brush their teeth,

Ugly broads who sing.

Stupid drugged up college kids

Who don't know anything.

Fat people who wear tight clothes,

Wimps who never fight.

Cheesed-up stupid liberals

Who always think they're right.

Fools who cherish friendship,

People who eat beets,

Po-lite dudes who leave their chairs

To give old ladies seats.

Chiropractors, nuns and priests,

Firemen and cops,

Journalists and cab drivers,

Guys in butcher shops.

Carpenters and movie stars,

Goofs who play the drums,

Mailmen and foot soldiers,

Produce clerks and bums.

Car mechanics, laborers,

Babes who pick their nose,

More than these disgusting creeps

Stink my smelly toes

My feet stink worse than people,

And life and wind and rain,

Sunshine, shelter, food and clothes,

Drugs, light, shoes, desks and pain.

Soil, weather, oxygen,

Water rocks and air,

Paper money, bank accounts,

Hillbillies with hair.

Civilization, varnish,

Solar systems, pride,

Highways, books and dead people,

A gap-toothed ugly bride.

 

I Got Stinky Feet...

continued

My feet stink worse than stink itself,

And worse than God is good.

They smell much more than Satan sins

And than a tree has wood.

Stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink,

Stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink,

Stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink,

Stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink!

My feet stink worse than artists!

My mother had a canker sore.

My father had a wart.

My brother had a carbuncle

Much bigger than a fort.

My auntie had an ugly face.

My grandpa had a blister.

My grandma was a bad-breath case.

Four tumors had my sister.

My cousin never had a friend.

My gal was hooked on dope.

My smelly niece began a trend

To stop the use of soap.

Their warts and tumors don't faze me;

Disease I sure can beat.

No sickness they contract, of course,

Can stink worse than my feet.

A maggot ain't a pretty sight,

And not much fun to eat.

But if you want to, take a bite

Out of my stinky feet.

A bashed-in face, a mushed-up brain,

A broad who ain't discreet.

A lizard in a bathroom drain

Can't stink worse than my feet.

My brother ain't a cherry tree.

My house can't read or write.

A toothpick ain't an envelop.

A dark cave ain't so bright.

A mansion's not a paperclip.

A dead man's not a chair.

A snowball ain't a handkerchief.

A cockroach ain't a pear.

Three monkeys don't an ice cube make.

A snowflake don't make heat.

All the stink combined on earth

Can't stink Worse than my feet!

I'm the big-shot king of stink;

The smelly number one.

Ain't no two feet on this earth

Can stink like mine have done!

My feet stink worse than everything--

Say hallelujah ho--

Smell these putrid toes just once

And to the grave you'll go.

My feet stink, stink my feet,

My stink, feet, feet, stink feet.

Stink feet, feet, stink, stink feet!

Feet, feet feet, feet, stink feet!

I don't own an apple tree.

My name was never Pete.

I ain't never danced for free,

But I got stinky Feet!

I'll die some day, though life I crave,

Death humans just can't beat.

But satisfied I'll hit the grave,

'Cause I had stinky feet!

bottom of page